there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
