I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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