went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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