We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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