I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you had me at cake vodka
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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