yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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