Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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