Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
