saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
