Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
