i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
