Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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