just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
