69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
