How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
