Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
