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I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
