Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
