Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
