He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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