What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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