38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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