Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
birth control should be required to get into college
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
