Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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