I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
