To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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