Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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