why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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