the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
