seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
