This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
