It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
