I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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