come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
