Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
