All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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