How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
mondays should just be called national damage control day
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I need to align my fucking chakras
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
