she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
