it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
