just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
