The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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