Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
