Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I believe in your delicious
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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