The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
