Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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