With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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