8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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