it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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