I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
