I'm sorry my penis didn't work
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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