finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
