her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you win again, gameday.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your cock deserves a montage
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
