In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
