Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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