im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
