if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
