yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
