They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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